


Habits

by Bitterraven



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Beginning romance?, F/M, Lotidge, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, bad at tags but good at writing (i hope), might make you sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 13:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15171536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitterraven/pseuds/Bitterraven
Summary: Pidge was well known as an organizer to the Paladins, not in the sense that she was tidy when it came to things she owned, because she could rival a Home Alone movie with how many accidental traps she had in her room. It was the things she knew that were organized.





	1. Chapter 1

Pidge was well known as an organizer to the Paladins, not in the sense that she was tidy when it came to things she owned, because she could rival a Home Alone movie with how many accidental traps she had in her room. It was the things she knew that were organized.

She kept a list of her friends’ strengths and weaknesses in the case she’d have to fight them.

She kept a backup copy of the coding on Shiro’s arm and how to deflect any viruses or attacks it could do.

One thing she prided herself was the smaller things she’d catch her friends doing:

Their habits.

The other Paladins knew she had this list, Hell they often asked her for info on the other Paladins. Sometimes she couldn’t get Lance off of her until she told him something about Allura or Keith.

Hunk would ask if Pidge knew the other Paladins’ favorite foods from time to time if he noticed them upset about something.

Allura would ask Pidge if she noticed any of the Paladins struggling when training so she could better the specialize the training to to the needs of a specific Paladin.

Keith and Shiro would avoid Pidge if they noticed her being especially observant, not wanting to embarrass themselves, knowing that she definitely would see them, and that she would easily share that information later.

And she would always give false information whenever Coran asked about what the other Paladins were afraid of, as she learned her lesson after a particular villain in their weekly Monsters and Mana game resembled a giant spider, which spooked Lance significantly. Lance wouldn’t even look at her for two weeks afterwards.

So it was no surprise that she did the same with Lotor when he arrived.

It was simple things at first; how he reacted when he was being interrogated, how he fought and his possible weaknesses.

After a while it … evolved in a way.

It was after she had gotten her father back, and how Lotor consequently lost his own. Not that it was a tragedy for him in any regard.

After that he was a more prominent part of Voltron, still not a friend in her regard, but not a enemy either. He was just… there now.

But now that he was there she could see more of him, not just the fighting aspect or the tactical advantage she could get over him. She could see the things he did when he wasn’t fighting or imprisoned.

He was weird, to say the least.

For one, nobody knew where he slept, even Allura was confused about it. Pidge tried to find where he went on the camera but whenever she checked the room he was caught going in he was never there.

That concerned her and her sense of danger. She wanted to know where he was for the safety of the team.

He’d never ate with the team either. He’d always take his food, and after a brief thank you to Hunk, he would leave. And whenever he did bring his plate back she’d noticed he never ate anything fully. There was always food left on it.

For this she thought he just didn’t eat much. Hunk did have a tendency to overload people’s plates so this was more excusable. As for him leaving, she just assumed he wasn’t comfortable around the Paladins enough to share a meal, which was something she could understand on a personal level, remembering the time Allura tied them together as a “team bonding exercise”.

She eventually just ignored him. He became the emperor and the distance grew. He left the castleship and moved into the Galra’s mothership. The only time she saw him then was when Allura was needed for discussing ways for peace or more recently trying to figure out Altean alchemy.

But Pidge wasn’t very interested anymore, anyway. She had bigger things to worry about then keeping tabs on someone who she didn’t associate with often.

It wasn’’t until after the fight she and the rest of the Paladins had with him in the void that she ever even looked back on him. The seclusion was a sign to her that she should have paid more attention to, rather than thinking he just wanted to be alone.

It was years later she was proven wrong a second time

Lotor was found, nearly half dead and and almost… feral, on a planet on the rim of the known star maps the Paladins kept.

Pidge was seething with rage when Allura hesitantly brought him into the ship, unconscious and

broken. She put him into a cryopod and sighed, resting her hand on the cool glass of the pod.

Pidge remembered yelling at Allura, saying she was letting her emotions overweigh the facts.

The fact that Lotor was a monster.

Allura didn’t deny any of it, she agreed. Countering that she wasn’t going to let him die out there. and that the Alteans deserved justice by watching him be punished accordingly for his actions. Him dying on the edge of the universe a pitiful mess wasn’t going to give the Alteans any gratification.

The plan was to wait until Lotor woke up, put him into a cell again and deliver him to the Alteans so they could decide what punishment was fit.

At least, that was the plan.

When Lotor woke up, he barely communicated with the Paladins. Pidge was honestly scared, she expected him to fight, to curse at them, something other then this.

He looked so lost.

When Allura questioned him he gave her confused looks, and it wasn’t until she asked him how he got where he was that he even spoke.

He explained that he only remembered the vastness of white around him, speckled by black areas and scraps from his ship. It was like that for what he said was forever. Until something opened up.

He explained that he only remembered seeing a woman, similar to Allura but not. She was lighter in complection and her eyes haunted him.

Allura asked him more questions, her own tone and face getting more confused and frustrated with every second.

It was deemed that he didn’t remember anything. Not how he got into the quintessence field, who he was before that, or what he had done.

Allura thought of this as a good thing. He could start fresh, be pushed down a right path to help others instead of doing harm.

Pidge thought of it as a half baked excuse, that Lotor knew exactly who he was and that he was faking, while the others were just trying to “correct” him.

Unfortunately, it seemed that like a cat, Lotor was attracted to people who didn’t like him.

Pidge noted that whenever she left the room he’d watch her leave until she fully disappeared.

He’d pause and stop whatever he was saying if he noticed that she wanted to speak, and fully supported her ideas unless he had viable evidence to go against them or improve them.

Allura must have noticed this too, as she had started giving Pidge the cold shoulder soon after until Pidge confronted her about it.

Pidge was fine with this at first. She’d let this run it’s course and eventually Lotor would probably leave her alone. She didn’t go out of her way to converse with him so she assumed he’d get bored and move on. Probably to Allura, eventually.

But it was strange. He’d stay and eat meals with them, preferring to sit next to Pidge if he got there early enough, and whatever food he didn’t eat usually went to her now.

He also had his own room now, one that was filled with small trinkets from planets and places they had been to, the largest area being one with things from Earth; rocks, jars of sand, small leaves, etc.

Lance had even helped him get and take care of some fish he’d gotten when they spent a day shopping after the paladins went back to visit their families and restock on supplies

It was weird seeing him this normal. Pidge still didn’t trust him, she couldn’t trust him. Not after she’d seen how he’s so patient when it comes to his plans.

But after a few years of this behavior, she slowly let her walls down, an act she was terrified and confused about.

She reasoned that he wouldn’t completely change his nature to lure them into ease. Nobody could do that. But caution still lurked in the back of her mind.

But it was nice savoring what she feared to be a illusion, nice to fall asleep at her control panel only to wake up later in her bed, a glass of water on her cluttered nightstand still cold and her blankets bunched around her.

She just wondered how long it would last…


	2. this is very reminiscent of a Steven universe episode in emotions and i apologize beforehand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had this in my head after i made the first chapter and sense people liked the first chapter i wanted to try something with more interactions with these two smol bebes.

It was a few weeks after waking up on that day that Pidge “confronted” Lotor about it.

She pretended to sleep at her panel, waiting to see if Lotor would do the same. Half of it was out of curiosity as to how he managed to do these things unnoticed. Maybe the team did notice and just thought of it as normal enough to not talk to her about it.

So she laid back in her chair and closed her eyes. This was as perfect a day as any to test this out. The rest of the Paladins had already gone to bed, with the exception of Coran and Allura who were on a different sleep schedule due to their biology. If they were awake then they were probably up contacting either the other Alteans or Krolia, trying to find a hospitable uninhabited planet that the Alteans could move to peacefully. 

She laid there for what she calculated to be nearly half an hour getting actually tired before she heard the doors to the room open, followed by soft footsteps that stopped only a few feet from her seat.

Pidge had to hide her anxiety. She was in a room alone with a man who nearly 7 years ago had attempted to kill off her, her friends, and an entire race of people with no second thought. Here she was trusting him with what he thought to be her unconscious body, with no protection.

She was snapped out of her worries when she heard him move closer. God he must have been inches from her at this point, all of her body screamed at her to tense up, to run, to fight. But she couldn’t. She had to force herself to remain still, her breathing even, and her eyes calmly closed.

That composure nearly broke when she felt his arms under her, effectively scooping her out of her seat and closer to his own body. She was thinking about bailing there and then, running off and just pretending she wasn’t stupid enough to actually have gone through with this.

That thought was blasted away when Lotor began walking. Pidge dared to crack her eye open slightly, watching at first to where they were going but then daring to look up at him.

Lotor stared ahead with a calm but focused look in his eyes.

Pidge closed her eye again, noting how lightly he walked as he carried her through the dimly lit hallways.

Even though he “didn’t remember who he was”, Pidge noted he still acted the same in some ways. Once he had relaxed around the Paladins, he became as calm as he had used to be. That’s the main reason Pidge was skeptical around him. He wasn’t like Zarkon or Sendak who thought up plans on the fly and if that plan failed they could think of another.

Lotor had one goal in mind and if the steps he took to get to it failed he simply used that failure to build upon another victory. Him claiming to not remember who he was could easily be another step he’s taking into whatever his master plan was before he was left in the quintessence field.

But... since he came back he didn’t even ask any deep questions about the Alteans, the Galra, Voltron, or even quintessence. Besides asking what or who they were, he didn’t strive to know much about them that he couldn’t just look up.

She didn’t know what to think at this point. Trust him and have the possibility of being burned, or not trust him and have the possibility of hurting him for something he doesn’t even remember.

It was too hard of a call for her to make.

She was beyond relieved when she heard a door open, cracking her eye open for a second confirmed it was her own room. One that Lotor had to carefully work his way around the mess, in the dark no less, on her floor to get to her bed.

Pidge felt herself being placed down, Lotor’s arms snaking from under her in placement of her mattress to support her. Soon afterwards, she felt her blankets being pulled over her and her head lifted and one of her many pillows placed under it.

Pidge didn’t know what to expect after this. She confirmed he was the one tucking her in when she passed out at her consol. Now what? She didn’t know what to do with this information now, and it didn’t help her situation or her confusion at what to think of him as she thought it might.

So when she heard him trying to make his way out she did the first thing that came to her mind.

“Lotor…”, she called out, her voice although quiet was heard in a instant by him, Lotor turning to look at her, a surprised look on his face, at least from what she could tell in the dimness of her room.

“I didn’t mean to wake you…”, he seemed like he wanted to say more but Pidge cut him off.

“I wasn’t asleep to begin with, don’t worry about that”, she sat up more on her bed, her gaze at him calculating while he tried to avoid it, choosing to look at the floor more than her, like a kid who’d been caught doing something wrong.

“Lotor, why are you doing this… The putting me to bed, the giving me your food, the being nice to me more then anyone? Did it not work on Allura and so your moved onto me?” She held her head in her hands, tugging at the strands of hair that fell into her face.

She didn’t know what to expect him to do, part of her expected him to try to comfort her. That part was the one that didn’t believe his “new life”.  
She didn’t expect him to just stand there, his ears and head lowering at every word she said, like she was harming him by doing this.

He just looked guilty. But for what…

She looked back over to him, the light from her strewn about electronics giving her enough to see him.

“Or do you really not remember.” Her voice was more of a whisper when she said this, like she was saying it to herself more then to him.

“I don’t…” God she felt bad, he sounded so quiet, like he’d been kicked while down.

“Then why me?”

He went silent at this and she noticed how he looked like he wanted to bolt.

Pidge sighed and scooted over more, patting the area next to her

“Come here.”

And he did

Hesitantly at that but he ambled over until he was standing near her bed.

“I’ll stop if you want me to, the last thing i wanted was to upset you…” His voice wavered for a moment, something Pidge picked up on.

She patted the area next to her again, as she didn’t want him leaning over her, plus if he was closer she wouldn’t have to talk as loud.

“I’m… I’m not mad at you… I... God, I don’t know what to think.” She let out a nervous chuckle and pulled her knees closer to her body, resting her head on her kneecaps.

“I just don’t know what to think of you.” She looked up at him trying to find some sign of who he used to be. Trying to find that glimmer of hatred or rage he thought she’d find. trying to make herself believe he couldn’t have changed.

She was uneasy when she couldn’t find any trace of it.

“I’m sorry, for the things I did before-” Lotor was cut off by Pidge laying her hand on his.

“Your apology means nothing. If you remember who you are and this is a game I don’t accept the apology.” She curled her fingers, holding tighter to him.

“And if you really don’t remember what you did… Then you have nothing to apologize to me for.” 

They sat in silence after that, Pidge uncurling herself and shuffling back down onto her mattress with her legs awkwardly but comfortable spread out under the covers.

“You can stay if you like, I don’t really want to be alone right now.” She looked back up at him, he seemed more relaxed, leaning against the wall behind her bed.

For the last 4 years he lived with them he’d seemed happier. Lost and confused at times but hell, she knew she also was.

Least she had someone to relate to in this mess.

She pulled on his hand, tugging him down with her until they both were laying down. She shifted a bit and let go of his hand tugging, at the blanket he was laying on. He got the message and lifted his body up until she got them out from under him. Grabbing the blanket she pulled it over him as well, till they both were covered. 

She was lucky enough to be a person to buy overly large things, or else covering him would have been tricky considered how he was more of skyscraper then an actual person in height.

She moved her hand back down to his, feeling him grasp back slightly. She was glad they scrapped his old armor, replacing it with more casual wear when they went out shopping with him. One thing her and the others agreed about him was that the armor had to go within the first week of him being with them, as it brought up too many memories.

She felt him shift around until he was closer to her and she grabbed his arm, pulling it over her torso scooting until she met his front with her back.

“You’re very tall you know.” She lifted her head and looked up at him, her eyes locking onto his blue ones.

“Maybe you’re just small.” He remarked, staring back down at her golden eyes. His thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.

They stayed like this until they both fell asleep, pidge more at ease then she thought she could be around him.

However this ended she hoped she was doing the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this playing around in my head after i made the first chapter and seeing how many people read and liked the first chapter in one day made me motivated to make this. Thanks to all the people who bookmarked and gave kudos to this.  
>  (Im looking at the two comments i got on the first chapter especially, you inspired me to do this and y'all made me feel nice about my writing and thanks for that)
> 
> Ha, who says you need to pass 10th grade english to be a good writer  
> (i say this while I look at a bill and class I have to take in order to make up the credit for 10th grade english)  
> God graduation can't come soon enough  
> Thanks to all the people thank read this, I'm new to writing and posting stuff so seeing people enjoy my first attempts is a very rewarding experience.  
> If theres any mistakes grammatical or spelling wise don't be afraid to point them out, I wanna make sure people get the best reading experience I can provide.

**Author's Note:**

> Im not very good at making fluff of these character because of the way i see there personalities, So i might make a chapter 2 of this were there relationship is futher on and theres more trust on pidge's side.  
> This is kind of a fill in while i work on in my head a chapter 4 for retribution.  
> still debating how i want to start that so if it takes some time coming out sorry for that.


End file.
